Calling all the single ladies... and men

In light of tomorrow’s national Hallmark Holiday looming upon us, I thought I might reflect on some of the thoughts provoked by Valentine’s Day. 

Ah, Valentine’s Day.  Probably one of the most beloved yet hated holidays of the year, I am willing to bet that many people, like I, have wrestled with hating and loving and hating and loving the holiday all over again. 

Before I begin to sound like the jealous cynic that I’ve so recently and admittedly often embrace, I will say that love is an incredible phenomenon.  

I mean, I’m not a Nicholas Sparks fanatic and hopeless romantic for shits and giggles.  I truly long for a happy, loving relationship portrayed in the books and the movies.  I want that fairytale love that often times seems so out of reach. And, I have been lucky enough to encounter some really amazing relationships in my past, but things obviously don’t always work out. 

Sometimes I guess my consistent high standards have played into my recent morphing of a dangerously jaded cynic. 

Alright… I’m not THAT bad.  I know that one day I’ll get my happy relationship because I know what I’m worth and I know what I deserve.  It just really sucks waiting sometimes when everyone else around you seems to be so ecstatically jumping for joy: swooning and screeching and blabbing about their perfect little love lives. 

 Or maybe they’re just blinded by “love” and infatuation. Who knows.  Whatever it is, I’m happy for those people.  They deserve to be happy.  But I’ll say it again.  When you look around and you’re the oddball out, it sucks.  It really, really sucks. 

So here we have Valentine’s Day: A National holiday socially created as the day to portray and profess our love for that special someone in our lives. This year I’m not part of the lucky bunch (*tear* *wahhh*), that is unless you count my father who literally kisses my face off (and yes, he really does kiss me so hard that my skin goes raw.  Let’s remember I’m 25; gotta love the old lad) and who will probably spoil my mom and I to a fancy-schmancy dinner and chocolate truffles afterward.   Okay, so I guess Valentine’s day isn’t SO bad this year. 

But now I can’t help but think about those lucky ladies who get spoiled with it all: candlelit dinner by the fireplace, rose petals lining the bath, flowers, chocolates, teddy bears, and, wait for it….

DIAMONDS. (Insert eye-roll)

If you’re one of those lucky girls, hats off to you! And kudos to the sucker you landed. He’s a keeper!  While I might often gag when I hear stories like this, it’s probably just because I’m jealous. So, ladies, you enjoy your romantic night with the lucky lad.  Seriously. 

But here’s my problem with Valentine’s Day. 

 DOUBLE. STANDARD. 

Why has so much of society adopted such a grandiose view of what Valentine’s Day is supposed to look like? I would much rather be surprised with some flowers sent to my work than the whole enchilada laid out from the minute I stepped foot in the door all the way to the bedroom.  Seriously, whoever does that has a lot of time on their hands.  Unless it’s a proposal…. By all means, go for it. 

I remember one year I told my boyfriend at the time not to bother wasting too much time and energy on Valentine’s Day because it really wouldn’t mean anything to me. 

“If you want to go all out, save it for a random Tuesday or something rather than Valentine’s Day.  It’ll mean so much more,” I explained to him.  

“Well won’t you be angry if I don’t get you anything at all?” he responded. 

He definitely had a point.  And that’s the double standard I’m talking about. 

“If you want to get me some flowers and chocolates or something like that, go for it.  I’ll be satisfied.  But telling me you love me every day sprinkled with some random acts of kindness is so much better than a grandiose performance on February 14^th.”  

And, he actually listened.  Flowers were delivered to my classroom where I was temporarily subbing with a simple “I love you” on the attached card.  The students really got a kick out of that.  And later that night, we spent the evening together at a nice restaurant and then cuddled up on the couch to watch movies after.  Nothing crazy; just sweet, simple, and fun boyfriend-girlfriend bonding time.  

And when a couple months later, on a random Tuesday (okay, maybe it was Thursday), I was surprised with flowers “just because” and a nice pair of jeans that I’ve been really wanting but my budget couldn’t afford, I was so much happier than if it had taken place on a Hallmark Holiday. 

So, I’m not bashing Valentine’s Day.  For those of you who have special plans, I really hope you have an amazing night because everyone deserves to be spoiled from time to time.  But let’s not forget to sprinkle random acts of love throughout the year to our special Valentine.  Don’t just save it all for February 14^th. 

Let’s make every day Valentine’s Day for the ones we love.  That is something to be admired.  That is special.  That, America, is true love.

And that doesn't just have to apply to romantic relationships either.  Let's show our mommies and daddies and grandparents, or whoever, how much we really love them.

And to all you single guys and gals out there, embrace it!  Your lucky lady or lad is out their somewhere.  Just have faith.  I'm right there with you.

So, Happy Valentines Day, everyone.  I "love" you all. 

~Elizabeth