10 Common Concerns of a Poor Graduate Student

I really enjoy scrolling through my Facebook Newsfeed every night before I got to bed and in the morning before I tackle my daily duties.  It isn’t so much to tap into everybody’s personal concerns, but it’s to find all the cool articles that are floating around—some about relationships, others about professional development, and some about college humor.  Lately I’ve been reading some stuff about the struggles of graduate school, and they were hilariously spot-on according to my experiences so far.  In fact, now that my second graduate semester has started, I’ve been in the process of writing my own blog post regarding the struggles and stress that’s already taken precedence in my current state of life.  I also wrote one last March titled “The oxymorons of grad school.”  

While the following concerns are things that I and my graduate peers often joke about light-heartedly, they are also a source of major stress during our graduate journey.  But, we nonetheless appreciate our graduate careers, and in hindsight, probably wouldn’t change it for the world. Read on for a sense of what it’s like to be a poor graduate student.  Below are ten concerns I often face on a weekly basis that I KNOW my graduate friends can relate to. 

1. “Can I make it to campus and back home without having to stop for gas this week?”

Seriously, gas and money should never have to be in the same sentence.  It’s depressing.  It’s really pathetic when you’re forced to make the decision NOT to drive somewhere because your gas funds are just too limited. Yesterday I literally FREAKED OUT when I drove a half hour past my exit because I was in such a daze thinking about my thesis, the papers I had to grade, and the book for my class that still hasn’t been mailed yet.  “My gas tank cannot afford these stupid mistakes!,” I furiously thought to myself…  Funny now.  Yesterday? Not so much. 

2. Every penny counts.

Call me cheap, but when I’m broke, I make sure to get every last penny I deserve.  If someone owes me money for whatever reason (I sell Herbalife products, or maybe it’s a payback for a birthday gift), I quietly hope that he or she writes a check for the full 26 dollars and 52 cents.  It’s seriously painful and I have to force a smile through clenched teeth when I say, “oh, you’re paying cash?  Just give me the 25 bucks and call it even.” Every time I say that, those pennies add up!  Any other time wouldn’t be a problem, and most people make small deals like this out of common courtesy or to build rapport in client relationships.  But, when I’m a poor grad student, that extra dollar and 52 cents could probably buy me a much needed gas-station cappuccino. Because let’s face it.  I have to fill my tank up tomorrow anyway.  It might not be a skinny latte from Starbucks, but it’s caffeine. It works.  

3. Speaking of every penny, I like to roll my coins. 

I add all of my coins to a “college fund” piggy bank that’s been sitting on my desk since my first year at CMU.  I had been shopping at TJ Maxx for some college essentials, and I noticed a ceramic bowl with a lid that was titled “College Fund.”  I’ve been adding my coins to it ever since.  Last time I cashed in exactly 45 dollars of rolled change at my local bank. The bank teller thought it was a little odd since nobody really does that anymore, but seriously, I was 45 dollars richer!  It’s almost full again and I might be able to spare an extra fifty bucks.  Now I actually CAN fill up my entire tank!  

4. That look you get from your friends when you have to turn down a trip to the bar after class is seriously disappointing. 

Look dude, I’d really love to have some friendly chit-chat and grab some pizza and booze, but I have exactly 12 dollars and 36 cents in my wallet to last me the rest of the week. And I already received two emails saying my balance exceeds the limit I set on my credit card.  Give me a few weeks and I can maybe roll more change.  Then ask me to go out.  

5. Having an exciting variety in your lunch bag just isn’t an option.

Unless momma made a nice home-cooked meal last night and gave you the leftovers, the basic PB&J or plain turkey sammich on wheat bread is an afternoon luxury.  Sometimes you might get lucky and can spare an extra 5 or 6 bucks at subway for a footlong, or a nice Mexican cuisine from the salsa grille in the student center.  Savor these rare moments.  They are awesome.  But, typically in my case, I pack chewy bars and a cup of peanut butter, and I dip the granola bar into the peanut butter. My friends thought I was silly, but now they’re all hooked.  It’s like candy!  I urge you all to try it. 

6. Your student balance for printing costs is now down from 45 dollars to 6.25 and it’s only halfway through the semester. 

Hey prof, can I email you my assignments?  

7. If you’re a student worker or graduate assistant, it costs money to look professional on the job.

A cut and color is enough in itself and updating your wardrobe is never easy on the bank account.  Unless you have some real fancy-schmancy hand-me-downs, or your thrift store has a really awesome collection this month, you can guarantee that looking good for the job won’t always be cheap.  Let’s face it, wearing the same work clothes over and over will eventually cause them to fade and thin out, and nobody wants to be seen wearing the same outfit seven times a month, unless you’re some fashion guru and you’re really good at turning 15 articles of clothing into about 50 different outfits. Does anybody else rotate their colors each week?  On Wednesdays I wear pink. 

8. Feeling like you’re running out of patience.

I’m always telling my boyfriend that I must sound like a broken record when I constantly complain about this “holding pattern” in my life.  What if I don’t get the job I want?  Then grad school will have been a waste of time and money… Then what?  Where do I go from there?! All my peers have awesome jobs and their own houses and making good money and then there’s me.  Oh shit… what am I doing with my life?!

9. To go out or not to go out?

It’s a battle of the consciences when the decision to go out on the weekends (aka alcohol therapy) is made by weighing the importance of two options: would I rather spend my money to regain my sanity?  Or should I stay in, save my money, and work on my thesis? 

Soooooo, who reads a thesis anyway? It’s just money, right?  

10. And when you do go out…

Not only are you further behind on your academic responsibilities, but the brutal cycle of financial struggles starts all over again come Monday morning.  Hey, at least you had a good time.  That’s something money can’t buy.  Or does it? Shit, how much money do I have left? Where did I put my wallet?!  

As stressful as graduate school can be, it's also the best time of our lives.  It's the time when we meet an eclectic group of classmates and co-workers who become a big family, one big support system, and most importantly, life-long friends.  

Traffic Jams and the Choice to Let it Be

The following excerpt was unexpectedly inspired by a random traffic jam...

The Beatles, in my opinion, are some of the greatest songwriters of our time.  Not only did they set the stage for what music should generate in its listeners, but their lyrics are truly inspiring.  They are simple.  They are unique.  They are truly genuine.  I’d specifically like to recognize the ever so popular and beautifully crafted song, “Let it be.”  While the song may have a theological element behind it, the meaning can expand to all persons, regardless of their religious background or beliefs.  When I hear this song, I am reminded of the fact that our lives are unique—specifically molded by our daily experiences. We are all made to encounter happiness, challenges, setbacks, tragedies, success, and everything in between.  Sometimes, however, as we all know, particular encounters aren’t exactly welcomed with open arms.  And the biggest challenge is actually allowing ourselves to accept each and every circumstance.  Doing so will humble our minds, and eventually, God will give us what we so deserve.  It all begins with a choice.  

We all start each day with such a choice.  Simply, it’s about our attitude.  We all know that at some point in our lives, the popular mantra that “attitude is everything” was instilled in us by parents, teachers, coaches, etc.  That attitude is the direct reflection of our choices.  It is difficult to accept that particular series of events throughout the day can actually influence our attitude, but it’s ultimately our decision to allow something to put us in a good mood, bad mood, or something reflecting indifference.  This is not to say, however, that unfortunate circumstances can seriously inhibit a smooth-running day.  

Sometimes, certain events really do just…suck.   Like that seriously annoying traffic jam we all get stuck in for a half hour the day of an important meeting…  Or that irate, petulant driver that cuts us off….  And the construction that caused us to make a detour, making us late once again… I’m sure you can recount numerous set backs.  Really, they all suck. 

 I’ll be the first to admit that all of these situations seriously blow, and I’m easily annoyed or angered more than many of my fellow peers.  But I’ve slowly come to realize that letting these small circumstances ruin our day is not helping any of us in the long run.  And yes, it’s all SMALL stuff.  The moment I realized all  of this was when I was actually sitting in a traffic jam—irritated as could be—and that lovely sound I previously mentioned immediately rang in my ears as my fingers furiously searched the radio station.

Consider this:  You are stuck in a traffic jam that seems to be backed up for miles.  The meeting you are supposed to attend is starting in fifteen minutes.  You can see the long, wide curves slithering up and down the highway like a snake.  At this point, you figure you are still at least 25 minutes from the office.  As you continuously and vehemently switch from the gas to the brake, your body now begins to angrily rock back and forth from the constant stop and go of traffic.  You might even attempt switching lanes in efforts to get ahead in the fast lane, passing that Volkswagen creeping ever so slowly in front of you—only to find that several minutes later, the same Volkswagen is cruising past you in the adjacent lane. Now you’re really fuming. 

Let me give you a piece of advice.  Chill. Sit back, enjoy your surroundings, and appreciate some good music.  The traffic will not spontaneously subside, and getting angry about it will only make the situation worse.  We must choose to not let small things like this bother us.  But, let’s just say we choose the latter.  Here’s how the situation might unravel:  You being to bang your wheel, yell insanities and obscure language, and your whole body is tense.  The steering wheel is succumbed by your Kong Fu grip.  Your knuckles are pale white and your entire inner system is out of whack from only these few minutes of unwarranted stress. 
   
By the time you reach the office, the meeting is already in session.  You reach the elevator doors only to meet your boss inside.  You plead your apologies for being so late, and your boss immediately draws the conclusion that, he too, was stuck in the same traffic jam. He pats you on the shoulder and says something like this: 

 “Relax. Just call next time and let somebody know why you are running late.  These things do happen.  I told everyone to start some discussions in the meeting until I arrive.”

Now, an entire weight has been lifted and your stomach is no longer hanging down by your toes.  You ask yourself what you were so worried about.  This boss who was so understanding and compassionate seems to already know how to choose the higher road of accepting daily circumstances.  But what about those of you who have not had the luxury of such a compassionate leader?  Not to worry—your time will come.  But if not, just realize in the meantime that you can never let someone control your attitude.  Yes, we may get frustrated, but we are in control of our own temperament. 

Let us return to the moment when we are stuck in that traffic jam, but consider an example far worse.  This traffic jam is actually the effect of a major accident.  After several minutes of extreme stress and tension—white knuckles and all—you slowly approach the scene of the accident, all of which is quite gory.  Your then feel like a complete idiot for getting so angry; so, you decide to thank the Lord for being fortunate enough to be alive and healthy today.  But why not thank Him beforehand? Why does it take unfortunate events for us to open our minds?  To realize not to take each day for granted?  I will once again admit that my mind was closed for very long until a series of terrible circumstances (not necessarily in my own life) motivated me to start making the choice to lead a positive life.  
   
Now, at times like this, I strive to seize the opportunity to listen to my favorite music while sitting in a traffic jam.  It’s okay if I’m a little late for work.  This is not to say that being late isn’t stressful, but stressing out more than necessary is not conducive to creating a sense of inner peace.  I have the rest of my life to work.  Ten or twenty minutes at the office can wait.  

 This illustration of a simple traffic jam is one of many different circumstances that may deter our ability to choose to accept circumstances as they occur in our daily lives.  They may impede our ability to choose to live in each current moment. And remember, special moments only last for so long.  Thus, we must learn to accept the present circumstance—for even the bad, annoying, or tragic moments teach us to appreciate to truly good moments, which are sometimes few and far between.  Choose to let it be—that, I assure you, is to truly live.