"Now That's a Facebook Status"

I've written once before about the love-hate relationship I, as well as many other people, have with today's use and misuse of social media.  While social media sites like Facebook and Twitter have become very convenient mediums for maintaining contact with friends and family as well as successful mediums for marketing endeavors, it seems that the very purpose of social networking has gotten a little out of hand. 

It becomes difficult to personally justify such claims because I am just as guilty as succumbing to the power of Facebook and Twitter in updating daily statuses or tweets, numerous pictures during an afternoon or night out with friends, and even the muliple selifies--often at different angles. We've all done it. 

If I ever get to the point where I start posting stories (hello??? That's what my blog is for... A bit ironic that I publicize them on Faceook and Twitter...) or long-winded venting sessions on Facebook, or if my status is updated ten times a day, please do me the kind favor of calling me out and tell me to get a life.  Seriously. 

There was a time when I deactivated my Facebook account for about 6 months.  And for awhile, life was awesome! Drama free, simple, and void of social media to suck up my personal time. 

That's when I jumped on the Twitter bandwagon, and while I initially thought it was ridiculous (like, really... why does anyone care about trivial passing thoughts or what you're doing at a specific moment?), my justification for becoming a tweeter was so I could follow my favorite country artists and celebrities.

Newflash.  It wasn't long until I was succumbed by its power and I also began my own tweeting frenzy, and sure enough, I also reactivated my Facebook account.  And even today, after sending off a thought or a picture in the world of cyberspace, my subconcsious still asks why the hell I even bother. 

It's like an addiciton I suppose.  Aside from the legitimate use for marketing or public relations endeavors, for instance, we all must know (c'mon, at least deep down??) that it's bad for us.  (Do a majority of our kids even play outside anymore?)

I mean, what's the alternative point of posting a status other than an invitation to "like", reply with comments, and/or engage in a heated discussion?  Is it a cry for attention?  Do we all wait in anticipation to see who might respond or who will say what?  How do we even appraise a "legitimate", a "good" or "bad" status?

That's why I always feel like I am in a stagnant, back-and-forth battle whenever there is a debate or discussion regarding social media (I mean, is there ever really a winner in the argument?)

So just the other night when I was at my Grandma and Grandpa's house for dinner, the inevitable topic of social media came up.  Of course Grandma was not shy to discuss her serious aversion toward Facebook.  Grandpa always concurs, this time shaking his head in agreement as he was busy devouring the delicious salmon he cooked for dinner. 

So for the sake of argument, I made a fair claim regarding the legitimate use of social media:

"I agree wholeheartedly with your aversion toward social media, Grandma.  I really do.  And even I admit that I get sucked in to it's power just like everyone else.  Why I keep doing it?  Who knows... But consider its convenience and significance in today's society. It's the way the world goes round now.  How do you argue for the fact that social media is essentially the primary means for a company's marketing and public relations endeavors?" 

Unless you know my Grandma's quirky personality, you can not understand the hilariousness of her response.  With a slight pause and fork in hand, ready to eat her last bit of salmon, she rebuttled:

"Well, I'd rather just go out in the woods and build a teepee.  Nobody knows how to read a smoke signal anymore either."

Grandma, now looking slightly upward and to the left while pondering her next statement, takes that last bite of salmon...

"I always wanted to be an indian." 

The fact that she didn't even answer my question didn't matter because what transpired was just too adorable. I, amused as hell, responded to her:

"Grandma, now THAT's a Facebook status!"

This is just one of the numerous reasons why I adore my grandparents.  Moral of the story?  While some people may call social media illegitimate or a time-waster, no matter how trivial or irrelevant said topic may be, there are some things that are absolutely worthy of a Facebook post. 

Happy Hump Day.

~ Elizabeth

The oxymorons of Grad School

If you don't remember Freshmen English class let me remind you what an Oxymoron is:  It is a figure of speech which juxtaposes two contradicting or opposing elements. Ironically, people happily accept them as normal english, when really, the two ideas juxtaposed are completely opposite, yet put together, create a seemingly mutual understanding among communicators.  Some examples include:

-Pretty ugly

-Big ant

-Cheerful pessimist

-Civil war

-Bitter sweet

-Alone together

-Cruel kindness

-Good grief

..... You get the idea.  This isn't meant to be another English Lesson so much as it is an explanation of the often contradicting feelings and experiences of graduate school.  

First and foremost, it's obviously been awhile since I've been able to publish regular posts, which alludes to the fact that I'm busy as hell with this graduate semester.  

But, grad school isn't as horrific as many people might hear or assume.  While there are times when I literally want to rip my hair out, have cried like a child, or have shot the air gun to my head in the middle of a large project or miserable classroom lecture, grad school has also provided me with some of my best experiences to date.

And if that's not an oxymoron of a young adult life, I don't know what else is.

Here are some of the facts--often contradicting ones--of  graduate life so far that I am confident any other graduate student will vehemently agree with:

1. No matter how much work you do, the written papers, the research, and the chapters to be read continue to pile up.  Your homework does not care about your sanity or your social life.  Period.  It wants to bury you.  

2.  As much as you might loathe your assignments and research, you simultaneously enjoy the subject at hand because it's of personal interest, as well as an investment toward resources to be used in your pending career. 

3.  You reach a point where you really just don't care about your academic performance. 

4.  Butttt at the same time you desire to earn good grades or significant evaluations from your professors--especially if you have a motivating professor, you WANT to put forth your best effort on that project you inherently loathe so much. 

5.  Your life becomes an incessant cycle of work/school (or both), extracurricular activities and exercise, constant homework, drinking for stress relief, and sleep--all of which you must personally decide how to divide up your time between them. Add in a significant other in the mix, and you've got one juggling act to follow.  

6. No matter how much sleep you get, you're tired.  Alllllll the time.  I am someone who values sleep, and although my nights are often full of fitful and restless sleep, I still try to be in bed with 8 hours before I am supposed to rise.  But, after constantly being on the go and frying my brain with research and insights regarding theoretical implications, I am just cognitively and emotionally drained with hardly any room for physical energy.  

7. As tired as you might be, you practically jump on ANY opportunity for social drinking or quality time with friends or significant others.  Because, let's face it.  It's practically one of your only forms of stress relief--especially when fitting in regular exercise at the local gym eventually becomes non-existent.  

8.  As much as you might curse your professors outside of the classroom or turn into the fire-breathing dragon as the stress continues to pile up, attending weekly classes is quite enjoyable--not necessarily because you like lecture or the path of crazy tangential stories your professors might journey down, but because you actually enjoy venting and joking about how much you and your classmates equally "hate" your current lives.  Identity management and meaning-making at its finest!!! (sorry, had to throw in some theory there...)

9. You begin to question your very motives and purpose for attending graduate school as you anxiously ponder how and if your hard work will ever pay for itself.  I mean, will this personal career goal even come to fruition? What happens if it doesnt?! Then what!!!!??? Ahhhh!!! Shit. Fuck.  Side mental note: Heyyy Daddd!  How bout supporting me for a few more years while I figure my life out, eh?!

10.  And even while #9 is constantly running through your mind, you also think you're the coolest person ever because, c'mon, you're getting your damn Masters Degree!  Like, when people ask me what I do for work and I explain that I'm pursuing a Masters Degree and they say something like, "oh cool" I just want to shake them and shout to them: "Duhhh! Of course it's cool.  I'm getting my fucking Masters Degree!  I'm smart, biotch.  I may not have a "job" like you yet, but I'll be successful, too!  One day...I think... Oh, shit.  (Annddd that's when #9 takes over again and at this point you're just literally cognitively incongruent and practically out of whack).

11. You pay an arm and a leg for grad school (college in general) which is said to be an investment toward your future, but, similar to the two notions above, as well as regarding the current state of our economy, you wonder if all that money toward a higher degree will even take care of itself. In my case, my ultimate endeavor to be a community college professor won't necessarily provide me with the financial stability that other careers might offer.  So does having a piece of paper stamped "Master of Arts" make up for that?? Not necessarily... 

12. If you provide outstanding written work or research analyses, you might actually become a published scholar!  How cool is that?!?! (Even if the only people reading it are fellow professors and grad students.  But hey!  That's a pretty line on a resume!)

13. Even amidst the crazy stress, grad school is a place to meet so many eclectic friends who become amazing support systems through the challenging journey toward your degree.  And, the professors and contacts you make on the ride become part of your networks for a lifetime--and that's something to smile about.  

The list could go on forever, and I'd love to hear any more stories from readers regarding their graduate experiences, or any other oxymorons of young-adulthood. 

Happy Hump Day!!!

Elizabeth 

Why Coaching is one of the most rewarding jobs ever, no matter how much (or little) the monetary gains

Sheesh, it's definitely been awhile since I've visited Blogger. I guess two weeks really isn't that long, but with my rigorous graduate school curriculum and extra curricular activities, I haven't found much time, or inspiration, to write something of substance.

Thankfully yesterday, however, I was once again inspired in such a way that evoked a gentle reminder of the things in life that truly matter to me.

I have accepted a part time job as a club volleyball coach for young, eager athletes, and yesterday was our first tournament of the season. I approached the big day with some nervous excitement.

For starters, I've never coached a team as young as these girls: 12 years old, some younger. My past two head coaching jobs were at SMCC for the freshmen volleyball team and at Monroe County Community College for the club volleyball team. I tend to relate to the older age group and feel that my motivational leadership style pushes young adults to reach their full potential.

So when you're used to dealing with older students, approaching a younger group might be a little scary. But I am happy to say that yesterday was generally a success. This young team played their hearts out and made it to the final round in the gold bracket, just finishing short of an overall victory.

While winning is always an inherent endeavor, coaching young kids is so much more than striving for a victory. The rewarding feeling that coaching generates is truly unmatched.

I will admit that coaching can be quite stressful, especially dealing with fickle teenage attitudes or drama. But even then, there's always some pretty great stories--good, bad, and ugly--to bring home to friends, family, and your significant other.

Moreover, considering the fact that the commitment and time involved doesn't exactly pay for itself, a coach might often wonder if it's worth his or her time and energy. But, while the number on the paycheck might be small, the inherent, psychological reward offers so much more than money can ever buy.

In the heat of a game when players are getting nervous, referees are getting antsy or testy, parents are shouting on the sidelines, and a BAJILLION other kids or players are walking alongside the court on their way to the concession stand--sometimes INSIDE the court (like, move people. We are in the middle of a game!!)--it's a challenge for a coach to maintain his or her composure.

And that's when it happens. You get that look of excitement or verbal declaration from a player looking for approval because she did something right: She got a nice kill, she hustled after a ball to save the play, or she even applied that wrist-snap technique you should her to throw the defense off of their game.

"Coach! Did you see it? I did that snap thing you showed me! It really works!"


Well, no shit Sherlock, I wouldn't have showed you otherwise. That's generally what my unconscious mind might be processing while my outward appearance emanates a large smile and a nod of the head all the while clapping and proclaiming, "great job sweetie! I knew you could do it."

That feeling is truly incredible, and for that moment in time, all the stress embedded in the coaching job description essentially vanishes. Of further positive affirmation, is when parents approach you after the game and thank you for the good job you've done so far or tell you how much their daughters enjoy their experience on this team. And, it's only the beginning of the season!

I know that they say if you do what you love that you'll never have to work a day in your life. While a part-time coaching job can not offer any financial support for living expenses, it is absolutely one of the most rewarding "jobs" I've ever had.

To see that personal growth in skill-improvement, mental strength, and motivation... there are just no words...no words to describe the pure bliss...the success a coach feels for having an integral role in their players reaching their full potential.

So, if you're looking for some inspiration or you want to make a difference, coach a team in a sport you love. Or teach. Or tutor a subject you like. The psychological gains and the emotional relationships you develop with your students and players are absolutely remarkable.

And nothing can take that away.

Happy Monday!

~Elizabeth