It’s 5 minutes till noon. In one hour I’ll have a classroom full of anxious students preparing to deliver their first speeches in my public speaking course. Yesterday, I would have been complaining on and on, anticipating all of the students who would be emailing me outlines and requesting help at the last minute, only to complain more that after multiple attempts to send along helpful resources, their assignments still need a lot of work. But, that’s to be expected in an introductory course...
Right now, instead of preparing for class and scrambling to get things done, I am typing away at the keyboard. My desk is a mess and there’s a pile of responsibilities and “To-Do” post it notes randomly placed along the wall or wherever they could claim a free spot on this cluttered desk.
That’s because this morning at 6:50 AM I got into a car accident. Luckily, I am okay. I was rear ended pretty hard and pushed into another car in front of me. I am certain I’ll feel a little bit of whiplash and soreness come tomorrow morning. When I heard the squealing tires behind me, I looked through my rear view mirror and saw the oncoming car approaching me. I knew what was next. Instead, everything played out in slow motion. There was nowhere to go and I prepared to be hit. Even though I was prepared for the hit, I still screamed and I couldn’t stop shaking. Although I am not seriously injured, car accidents—big or small—always seem to be scary. Fortunately, I am okay. But it could have been worse.
What I realized today is everything that I’m doing wrong. As soon as I was hit, one of my first thoughts was that I would not make it to my 8AM class to grade speeches. I immediately began thinking about how I’d have to rearrange my schedule and the inconvenience the accident has caused.
Suddenly, I stopped.
INCONVENIENCE? Inconvenience, Elizabeth? Is THAT what you’re really worried about. Immediately, my perspective changed.
I accepted this event as a wake-up call from God to slow down. Not just physically, but, mostly, mentally. For the past two months since I married the love of my life, moved out of state, and began a brand new job, my mind has been on overdrive. I’ve been told that I’ve experienced three major life events in the matter of two months. So, I’ve got that going for me. These people weren’t kidding.
I feel like I can’t seem to catch a break to just…. BREATHE. I feel as if I am constantly bobbing my head above the surface, gasping for air in the crazy thing called life. I’m trying to meet new people, establish my personal and professional self in my new career and in my new town, be responsive and available to my anxious students, and still have the time for myself, and, most importantly, my husband. Knowing this, I wrongly internalize it as something I can’t control, and I often feel like I need to be on the defensive, when that is not at all the case.
Though I know I’ve been extremely busy with my new career, I realize I need to begin prioritizing the important things in life. I feel as if I’ve always done a pretty fair job at this, but, like I say, there’s always room for improvement.
Lately, I’ve been taking my daily concerns with me to bed, tossing and turning and experiencing my first teacher nightmares. I love my students. I care about my students. I want them to succeed. Sometimes I am told that I care too much, and I need to take care of my own health and my own sanity. In fact, five of my own students this week had all acknowledged my “overdrive” and my immersion into my work:
“Mrs. G, you are working too hard. Go home. It’s okay.”
“Man, Professor G, you’re having quite a week! That is okay though. Slow down and let God take care of things.”
“Mrs. G, you realize you sent out like, 6 emails this week?! Slow down! You’re going too fast and cutting corners.”
Here I am, thinking I usually have it together, but the smart ones see right through that. Luckily, a lot of my students are pretty understanding.
Today, my little car accident reminded me to put ME (and my family, of course) first. God’s telling me I need to slow down. Back up the tires of my hurriedly driven mind, and just, STOP. BREATHE. RELAX.
Just, BE. To Trust in HIM.
It is often sad that it takes a tragic event to bring the important things into perspective. Today was not tragic. It wasn’t even remotely that bad considering injuries. But it did shake me up.
I stopped. I listened. I learned.
