Monday, January 20, 2014

Is your life "a walk to remember"?

“It’s like the wind.  I can’t see it but I can feel it.  I feel wonder, beauty, joy, love.  It’s some of everything.”

This is just one of the many great quotes (which may not be exactly accurate—my book is currently MIA in my Nicholas Sparks collection on my closet shelf) spoken by Jamie Sullivan’s character in the heartstring-tugging story “A Walk to Remember.” 

I am going to assume that anyone reading this blog knows exactly what movie I am talking about, but if that is not the case, let me attempt to give a one sentence synopsis:  When Landon—a beloved, popular, preppy bad-boy—is given due punishment after getting in trouble on school property, he gradually, yet unexpectedly, falls in love with the nerdy, unpolished, ostracized, yet big-hearted and faithful preacher's daughter, Jamie Sullivan, who later confesses that she is dying of leukemia.  

I was comfortably sitting on the couch at my brother’s house, babysitting my favorite dog-niece, Tori—who is a VERY high maintenance German Shepherd—beginning my high pile of graduate homework when I saw on the TV guide channel that “A Walk to Remember” was about to start on Lifetime.  I immediately picked up the remote and changed the channel, but soon enough I felt guilty for indulging in television and avoiding my graduate-student duties for the third day in a row.  

And that’s when I realized what really matters.  While I am working hard on my post-graduate path to my desired career, I know what the most important things are in my life: not movies or books or other materialistic things, but the bigger, abstract, inspirational meanings inside of them--the reminder of the special, genuine relationships that we hold close to our hearts. 

So, I settled down, pulled over the wool blanket, and enjoyed one of my favorite stories for about the twenty-seventh time since it became a major motion picture, all the while crying--and then smiling as far as my grin would reach my ears--and then crying again over and over and over.  

Nicholas Sparks is hands down my favorite author, not just because I am a hopeless romantic but because his stories are so real, raw, emotion-laden, and magical.  But before I start rambling about my stark obsession for Nicholas Sparks and his books, let’s get down the real point.  Here are some of the things that I reflect upon when watching this movie.  

LOVE and RESPECT.  The two words go hand in hand yet carry a vast, infinite meaning.  Before Landon was inspired by Jamie to be a better man, he belonged to a group of friends who were superficial and found gratitude in making fun of others who were unalike them in any way.  Sometimes, however, it takes being inspired by a special someone to truly put love and respect into action.  

This movie reminds me that chivalry is not all dead even in this contemporary America we live in.  I know I am often succumbed by dangerously high levels of cynicism—partially due to some of my own personal experiences and those of my close friends—but I have faith that every man and woman is inherently and morally “good”... in all sense of such a simple term.  

I know a common rationalization for today’s dating behaviors is that the world is changing.  “Times are different.”  “It is the 21st century, we aren’t old fashioned anymore.”  

While there is legitimacy and truth to these statements, it doesn’t necessarily mean we have to completely discount the integrity, values, and respectable behaviors that men and women did for each other before contemporary America began brainwashing generation Y individuals.  

Don’t get me wrong.  There’s  some really great things about modern-day society—such as the advancements in technology, although it can also be quite detrimental to relational maintenance—which is a whole new topic appropriate for another day’s reflection.  

But let us consider some of the adorable, sweet, chivalrous gestures made by Landon in the presence of Jamie.  Take the first date for example:  After a romantic dinner, Landon and Jamie danced under the stars—not grinding up on each other at a club that we so often see among couples in today’s definition of a meet-cute.   Even more adorable, is that fact that Landon later asked his mother for dance lessons so he could make up for his lack of skills the first time.    

Landon then took her to the state-line where she straddled the border to be in two places at once, and later, he gently gave her a paper tattoo on her shoulder—thus allowing her to check off two of the items on her to-do list.  And throughout the story, she checks off many more of her ambitions, both small and large. 

Call me old fashioned, but it’s the true effort taken by men (and women) to court women (or men) and to earn their chance to be a significant contender in their lives. 

It shouldn’t be about hooking up on the first date—or second, or even third—but about developing an emotional connection rather than instant physical intimacy. It is the emotional closeness that makes physical intimacy more genuine, real, special.  Landon fell in love with Jamie for her mind, personality, faith, hope, and all the good things she had to offer.  And, Jamie saw the good in him as well when she so easily could have written him off as an arrogant ass-hat.  

Everyone has a story to tell.  Everyone has something special behind their eyes.  Behind their hair.  Behind their makeup.  Their clothes.  Their job, money, success.   Let’s take the time to figure out those stories before getting into somebody’s pants.  

Isn’t it amazing how a special someone can truly inspire us to reach our full potential--to be the best men or women we can possibly be?  Sometimes on our own we don’t have the ambition to do everything we are utterly capable of, but with a true love in our lives, we find the power, the ambition, the inspiration, to achieve the things we may not have thought possible on our own.  

I guess there really is truth to even the cheesiest quotes like “You complete me”; “You’re my other half”; “You’re my soul-mate.”  

What is unfortunate is that, all too often, it takes heartbreak, a loss, a death—although it may be a miracle—something tragic to occur for us to realize the true importance of life.  Even a tragedy brought together two strangers emotionally aloof and withdrawn from each other's lives—a father and his lost, hurt, estranged son.  That might very well be the part that gets me the most… 

There is a part in the movie where Jamie is in the hospital and gives Landon, who is at her bedside, a book of her favorite quotes as a gift.  One by Dolly Parton reads, “Find out who you are and do it on purpose.” While I am not sure what the future holds for me, I do know this:

I was raised by an amazing family who taught me to respect others and to love deeply.  And I know that one day I will inspire, and be inspired by, someone who desires to share a mutual life of genuine love and happiness. 

As is quoted in Corinthians 13: 4-8a and stated in the movie, “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.” 

I think it is important to read inspiring stories or watch movies like this quite often.  We all need that little reminder—that gentle push—of how we should be living life.  These stories, these moments, all plant a seed in our minds.  It’s up to us—through our attitudes, our behaviors—to grow our own garden in this crazy thing called life.  The question is whether or not we will choose to make our lives a true walk to remember.  

~Elizabeth  

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