Internet Self-Disclosure. Too much, too fast?

I am a bit wary as I consider publishing all of the thoughts so jumbled up in my brain, because as I prepare to explain my perspectives through writing, I know that I am just as guilty as everyone that the following blog denotes. 

And that is… Facebook/Twitter junkies.  

But before I begin, I will assure you that you will actually learn a thing or two about communication and theory (I promise it’s not long-winded and I promise it’s quite interesting). 

Something I often joke about is that social-media ruins lives.  (Was that actually one of my Twitter statuses the other day?  Yes, yes it was...) 

Okay, maybe it doesn't ruin lives to an extreme degree. (Or does it?)  But, think about it.  For those of us—including myself—who have been “sucked” in to the world of cyberspace, we all too often waste hours of our time and energy on social networking sites. 

Let us consider the notion of self-disclosure.  Traditionally, anyone who was willing to listen to us about anything personal below all surface-level communication was lucky enough to consider himself or herself a close friend.  

Now, let us fast forward to contemporary America.  

Why is it that individuals have become so willing to share intimate personal information?  Is it becoming more common for strangers or acquaintances to engage in such cherished self-disclosure?  Has our world become too entwined in releasing intimate, inappropriate, or unnecessary information into cyberspace just for the attention?  

As I have become more and more educated on communication theory and communicative aspects throughout my undergraduate and graduate career, I’ve come to notice that several of these questions, if not all of them, hold some truth. 

Let us dive into the ever-expanding world of Facebook (Twitter can apply all the same).  

 I remember when I first jumped on the bandwagon.  I abandoned my MySpace (does anyone use MySpace anymore???) account and quickly joined the “cool” crowd of cyberspace, and, for months, it seems I was addicted to it—much like a majority of the population.  I then entered a bout of Facebook-hating-boycotting-and-bashing dry spell, and now I have succumbed to its power all over again.

Before I get into my fit of Facebook/Twitter-bashing, let us consider some of the positive aspects of social networking sites.  

Not only has Facebook become a great way to maintain relationships by keeping in touch with distant friends and family, but individuals have had opportunities to create and build relationships as well. 

Here comes the learning part. According to the Social Information Processing Theory, often cited in the literature on CMC (computer-mediated communication), individuals can develop their relationships just as effectively as in face-to-face interactions. 

Thus, the notion that Facebook has helped individuals effectively build and maintain relationships is a valid assumption.  After all, my pre-conceived notions that computer-mediated communication couldn’t hold its own compared to live personal interactions were quickly silenced when I became submerged in my own Internet Affair.  (Not literally an “affair” but I will admit that I’ve developed and maintained one or two very close relationships primarily due to cybernetic outlets).  But that’s a whole new story, maybe for another time.  

Let us consider however, some of the issues that come with the territory of being an avid Facebook user.  But first, one more quick lesson on another communication theory: Social Penetration Theory suggests that individuals gradually develop strong interpersonal relationships through breadth and depth of self-disclosure. Like an onion, we peel back one layer at a time and eventually develop close interpersonal relationships with others. 

When considering the aspects of computer-mediated communication, it is a valid assumption to consider that Facebook (or any other medium of social networking) allows for such a gradual development of interpersonal relationships as well.

 However, is this theory also being violated in similar ways that many people are experiencing in their own daily lives? Perhaps people are disclosing too much information to strangers and acquaintances way to fast?!  I’m willing to bet that this has happened to you at one point or another.   

In an all-encompassing and ever-growing technological world, it seems to me that Facebook has become an individual outlet for purging one’s inner-most intense emotions.  When we log into Facebook, we are immediately subjected to a homepage of numerous status updates—updates which seem to have evolved into individuals’ personal diaries. 

Perhaps [some] people are too quickly peeling away their superficial layers (of an onion, remember?) and plunging into such intimate facets of their personal lives online as well.  Is the ability to build and maintain successful relationship online being compromised by such an overload of personal information?

What about Facebook messenger? Any “strangers” or acquaintances self-disclosing a bit too fast to your liking? Or even against your will?

Are individuals, or more severely, business professionals, being turned away by such inappropriate written comments?  Although I am a strong advocate for Facebook and other social networking sites being an effective medium for relationship maintenance and even advertising or marketing, I’d also have to admit that I’d confirm the inquiries above.

While I peruse the homepage of my Facebook account right now, there are several long-winded (and quite ridiculous, may I add) statuses that I could use as an example of overload of personal information.  And, even if the updates aren’t intimately related, some statuses are just so complex that it has become a cyberspace battle just to gain the most comments.

 Isn’t that what the purpose of status updates are, anyway—to reel in comments from the public?         
   

In fact, it seems those individuals who update their statuses multiple times a day (Twitter-like, may I say?) are often quite self-absorbed.  

Okay, before I am judged for being a hypocrite, I will admittedly say that I do it too (my last 23 or so comments were probably about working out or my current mood toward graduate school--or even 5 different selfies of my new blue glasses), and I call myself out on it every day.  But yet, I am still sucked in! What has happened to me?

Perhaps I’ve turned this explanation into a negative, condemning elaboration of what Facebook has become.  But, what ever happened to the website simply being used to maintain our interpersonal relationships?

I think we need to reevaluate the purpose of Facebook; I think we need to reconsider the degree to which we develop our interpersonal relationships.  

Remembering the concepts of the Social Penetration Theory, maybe we need to take a step back and build our relationships more slowly and appropriately—both in the personal contexts as well as online—and, I’d be willing to bet that we’d be much more likely to win more friends and positively influence more people. (Credit to Dale Carnegie for the choice of words)

~ Elizabeth