I am sure we have all seen the movie, “All Dogs go to
Heaven,” one of which came out when I was not even ten years old. I loved that movie, and I still get excited
anytime someone mentions it. If you
haven’t seen the movie, I don’t have to explain much. Just think about the title.
This blog post isn’t so much about the move in particular as
it is about the blessing of canines in comparison to the seriously annoying
feline species. (For any cat lovers out there, I
apologize. It’s not that I HATE cats, I’m
just really not a fan). My Sadie
Baby is my very best friend and I love her to the moon and back. She, as well as many other dogs, is a kind of
therapy that nothing else can match. Any
dog lover knows exactly what I am talking about and I shouldn’t even have to
explain such claims.
And this brings me to my blog title. Was there EVER a movie titled “All Cats go to
Heaven”? No. If there was, it obviously wasn’t very
popular.
Now, I know that there exists some Disney movies or children’s
cartoons that have portrayed dogs as villains just as much as cats, but I will
generally stand by my most biased claim that cats are… well, bitches. Ironic,
however, is the fact that “bitch” is a 12th century name denoted to
a female dog. But let’s just disregard
that notion.
I was talking to my friend, Gabriel, today and he
asked me for my opinion on cats. My
response that I wasn’t a fan was received with delight in the fact that we both
shared the same aversion toward the feline class.
Besides the adjectives he listed that they are gross and
boring, Gabriel was very adamant about how sneaky cats can be.
“I hate sneaky in all
aspects. I would rather fight a bear
than have something sneak up on me and bite me.”
“You got bit by a cat?”
I surprisingly asked, although I’m pretty sure I have at one point or
another as well.
“Oh yes. Such a Demon cat. It hated people,” he replied.
It was quite the light-hearted conversation, and although I’ll
admit to petting a cat if it’s there, they really are just no fun. Here are a
few reasons why:
1. They hate water.
Who the hell wants to take their cats on summer vacation if they don’t’
want to swim with you? C’mon.
2. They don’t fetch. Combine this with number one.
4. You can’t wrestle with them like you can with
average-sized to big dogs. They’re pussies.
(Technically
this isn’t even a bad word. Microsoft
Word’s thesaurus lists four different synonyms for cats: pusses, pussycats,
kitties, kittens. Case in point. Need I
explain further?)
5.They just sit on the couch and stare—either out
the window all day long, or at you. It’s
creepy. And boring. Sadie’s random tail-chasing antics are by far
better entertainment than a cat with a fierce expression that screams “I will cut you.” Or scratch, or claw,
or in Gabriel’s case, bite. They’re just
moody little brats.
6. Their litter boxes stink after a few days.
7.You can’t really play with a cat. Teasing cats with a ball of yarn is not a
definition of “playing” in my book. You should re-evaluate the “fun” in your
life if this is a source of consistent entertainment for you.
8. While dogs go beyond the call of duty, have unconditional love, and are "man's best friend," cats to many people are just entitled, or so goes their mentality.
8. While dogs go beyond the call of duty, have unconditional love, and are "man's best friend," cats to many people are just entitled, or so goes their mentality.
I could go on forever but I think we get the point. It’s not that I really hate cats. They can be endearing… sometimes. I guess I’d prefer a kitten over a cat, but once
they’re full grown they’re just not even cute anymore.
If you’re lonely and considering buying a pet, just do the
right thing and get a dog. They’re the
most loyal companions and play-mates.
Cats are not.
“Cats don’t go to Heaven. Cats go to Hell.” ~As said by my mother, Mary Sue.
I will now kiss my baby girl good night and hope these
allergies don’t wake me up in my already fitful sleep.
Happy Thursday.
~Elizabeth
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